rest because

No Because Necessary

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Have you ever lost rest over a quote about rest? Well, I’m talented like that! HA!

I have recently been a part of an amazing 14 day challenge with Prophet Calvin Witcher which was… well… a challenge. I know it sounds funny to say that but I’ve been a part of challenge after challenge that frankly, haven’t been very challenging. To commemorate the end of the experience we had a Zoom call last night where we shared space to discuss our experiences throughout the 14 days. The whole call was magical but there was something said by Prophet Calvin that has kicked my rear end. It has kicked it so hard that to say it’s a new day today would be an understatement. I mean, I lost sleep, had to make it into the nice picture you see above, and obsessed over it during Soul Saturday morning coffee in my community.

I’ve done the work.

I’ve done the work, and for me it was HARD work. I had to get to the point where I’ve been able to feel like I don’t need approval from others for the things I choose to do in my life. It has happened from the time I was very little. If I said I needed to rest, or make any choice for that matter, someone would always come back with, “Well of course you do (or don’t), because… <insert any ‘excuse’ here>.”

I never realized the impact and lasting effect that it had on me. When we talked last night, Prophet Calvin gave examples of, “I need to rest because…”, and I found myself getting REALLY angry. See, I have stopped saying that to others but have never stopped saying it to myself. Through that realization, I came to the ah-ha moment and the reason I feel like this particular moment is going to change my life.

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been dealing with and processing a lifetime of chronic health issues. I haven’t mentioned how serious because it’s irrelevant. The only thing that’s important is that I’m doing everything I am in alignment with to heal my physical body. In this process I have made a ton of changes in my life from my spiritual practice to what I put in and around my body to even my routine and how I go about my day.

Because

Then the realization hit me. I analyzed it further, but this is the gist: I can, in my work, see someone’s attachment do their dis-eases from a mile away. However, mine have been SO buried beneath tangible shifts in my life from the changes I’ve made. Attachments were buried by ‘shadow work’ when it comes to relationships with others and I was completely blind. In that effort to heal, I’ve managed to attach a ‘because’ to every choice I’ve made on behalf of my being. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

MY WHOLE LIFE. … because I don’t feel well. … because I’m sick. … because I’m tired. … because it’s good for me. … because I want to be a better mom/wife/spiritual leader/human. … because it’s healthy. … because I’m busy. … because I have 6 kids. … because I need to be a good example. Even… because I deserve it. Because. Because. Because. And not out loud to anyone else… like I said, I’ve dealt with that. But to me.

Through this ‘because’, I’ve managed to convince my subconscious that I need a reason to exist in a healthy, vibrant, impactful way.

In writing that I am releasing again and I need repeat it.

Through this ‘because’, I’ve managed to convince my subconscious that I need a reason to exist in a healthy, vibrant, impactful way.

Wooooo.

As I sit here writing this, I am reminded of Jesus’ time in Gethsemane. Jesus told his disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray.” He didn’t say, “Sit here while I go and pray because…” #ohsnap

I will.

From here on out I am paying close attention. I’m paying attention to my language with others and my own inner dialogue. I am positive that this shift, like everything else in my journey will be a process. I WILL issue myself grace and love on a minute to minute basis for it. I WILL proclaim today a new day despite voices in my Aquarian mind telling me that there will be setbacks. I AM doing some major releasing and creating the energetic environment I need to thrive.

I will feed myself delicious, life-giving foods. I will move my body and be grateful for it. I will love myself fully and unconditionally.

I will rest.

PERIOD.

(No because necessary.)

xoxo

Jessica